THAT KILLED ME !!

This feeling comes and comes again
Come back when I started to forget him
and hope it also comes back empty
God...
I know I do not deserve him
He's too good for me
He's too perfect for me
and until whenever I do not deserve him 
God...
think this is really painful
This feeling is slowly killing me
stop for a moment my vein
stop the flow of my blood
God...
I want this feeling is absent again
I feel he's not for me
and he's really not for me
I always hoped and
I want to kill this feeling
bury these feelings
destroy all hope this
yes wishful thinking
God...
I want you to keep me from him
although this heart want to always be nearby
I want away from it though was unable to
God....
help me to hate him
make me really hate him
make me hate him
make me not like him
Any way you Lord
so think this does not come like this